I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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