i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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