As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm like, not good at living.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
