this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
