Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
