i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
