I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
