Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
