saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It's shark week go big or go home
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
