I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
