Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
