she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
