You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
