I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
