no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Randomize
