Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I would fuck him just for his dog
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize