Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
