She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
