Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
