So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
