I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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