I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
how does that bad decision feel?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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