you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
