Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
this hospital has no fireball
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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