More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
