And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
