He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
