took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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