I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
