I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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