his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
