Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
