Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
