Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just gift wrapped bread.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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