Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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