Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
