Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
