just survived the first fart of the relationship.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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