Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
