it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
