Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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