It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i think i have herpe
just one?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
