when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
