So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
