I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
