Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
