So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
