My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you would pick up someone in the library
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
