I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
