i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
